When Marina is a bratty teen, I will tell this story and she will be mortified

We're starting to test the whole potty training waters.
Which basically means that every now and then Marina gets to run around without a diaper and if she happens to tell me she has to go, we run inside to the potty. But she hardly ever says anything and before I can do anything about it, there's puddles on the floor.

The other night, I had to water the front lawn and Marina likes to hold the hose and drink from it. And I let her because she looks like a kid from the olden days, like when kids would cool off by the fire hydrant or something. But inevitably this causes her clothes to get wet so I let her strip naked. In the front of the house. Where neighbors could see.

I figured if she had to use the bathroom, she'd tell me. Even though, as I said, this only happens in my imagination. A few minutes after I removed her Cookie Monster diaper, Marina comes running with something brown in her hands.

"Put this in the potty, Mommy," she says not at all grossed out that she's handling her own poop with her BARE HANDS.

"MARINA!!! ARE YOU TOUCHING YOUR OWN POO???"

"Put it in the potty!" she repeated all proud of herself.

So, well, what could I do? I had to rush Ella inside while screaming "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING" until we were able to dispose of it properly.

And while it was gross, I secretly applaud her for maybe, possibly mortifying the mean neighbor lady from across the street who already thinks we're a bunch of low-class renters.