I am finally getting us out of this place. Out of this two-bedroom condo with no backyard and not enough space for your books. In one month, you will not have to climb all those stairs to get to your front door. You will not have to wake up to the sounds of helicopters or prostitutes fighting outside your window.
Goodbye slanted sidewalks!
We are moving to the suburbs, or as your Daddy says, Republican living. And as much as I hate to say this, those GOPers know how to do it right.
You will have your own room. Not only that, but you will also have a yard with fruit trees and roses. And plenty of space to run around and be Beanslike.
We will even have a key to the neighborhood pool.
Next thing you know, there'll be a picture of Ronald Reagan above your bed.
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